Things that I just don't get

I don't understand so many things

1. Why do boys hit and wrestle and chase constantly? Is it fun to attack others? Seriously makes me want to drink at about 10 a.m.
2. What is the deal with LinkedIn? I just discovered you can see who you've invited to connect with there. It's seriously embarrassing. I think I've asked people several times thinking each time I'm asking them for the first time. God. I hope once they've rejected me LinkedIn remembers and they don't get a new invite every time. Sweet Lord. Gonna go dig a pit and hide in it.
3. I had a great idea for a plexiglass mailbox. How sweet, right? Do you don't need to go outside to check if you have mail or not. Then a few days ago I realized just how stupid of an idea it was. Are all my ideas this bad?
4. Adult acne. Enough said.
5. Christians that are judgey of other Christians. Or hell mothers that are judgey of other mothers, especially within subcategories, like attachment parents. Ok, you are a good mom. Stop it with judging others. Who cares when the kid is weaned or when they eat their first solid food or when they sleep in a crib. Are we trying? Good job!
6. People that feel it necessary to share their digestive distresses via social media. Do you feel less like puking or crapping if others know you are doing it?
7. I have all the ideas and quippy things to say before I sit in front of my computer. Once there, I'm blank. Nothing. Nada. Definitely could talk at length about the baby just born to some royal or depressing stuff about the upcoming due date of my miscarried baby hooray!!!

8. Why do people hate commas so much? I love them.
9. Addictions.
10. Horoscopes. I'm a Scorpio. Does that really mean anything? Or what about the horoscopes you get on Chinese restaurant placemats that talk about the year you were born. So everyone born in 1981 is like me? Doubt that. Went to school with a lot of different characters. We shared the fact that we were all walking upright and had opposable thumbs.
11. Celebrity obsession. Reality tv. Guessing baby names for people you've never met and will never meet.
12. What kind of crack do they put in Ben and Jerry's? I need to know. I can't stop eating it. Ok maybe it's my addiction….
13. Hypocrisy.
14. Women's sizing. Like H&M is a different planet. Even Gap and Old Navy are inconsistent between the two and they are owned by the same parent company.

Loads of other stuff but it's time for me to go watch my children pick at their dinner hooray! My youngest has decided he will no longer eat boxed mac and cheese as some sort of protest. More for me, buddy. More for me.

The Dark Side of Kickstarter

Kickstarter and other crowd-funding sources are an awesome idea. I wish I would’ve come up with the idea. But I have a huge problem with it.

Ok, moreover I have a problem with the dark side of crowd-funding.

Maybe dark side is the wrong word.

I have a problem with rich people and celebrities using crowd-funding. Now I get it- we are a free country, yada yada. People can spend their money on whatever they want. They can go in their yard and make papier-mâché piñatas out of money and then burn it. Free country. Beautiful.

It’s just incredibly sad to me that we have become this society of entitlement. People think, well I want to do something and I really don’t want to put my own money towards it, so I will see who will give me money. I’m speaking ONLY of insanely wealthy people and celebrities. Joe Schmoes like you and me would need crowd-funding to record an album, publish a book, what have you. I think it’s a brilliant idea when someone with talent without money needs help getting their product or idea out there, and other people getting something they value (whether it’s an album, a book, recognition) out of helping. Rich people have the option of saying “I have the money and I can do this thing.” I’ve seen this wave on kickstarter of people who can afford to finance their dreams, but instead want to show “the world” that there is support for their idea, etc. I feel like this is anathema to the idea of kickstarter, of people helping other people achieve their dreams who would otherwise be unable. Instead it is morphing into celebrities wanting to make a movie and needing Joe Everyman to help finance it. Captain Megabucks wanting money to research for his book.

I understand this desire to fit in, to be recognized. Some celebrity says for $50 you get your name in the liner notes of a CD, a signature on a picture, et al. I’m sure that Teen Heartthrob of the moment could make a kickstarter for money because he crashed his car and wants to buy a new one, and people would line up to help him fund it. Granted- free country. Do what you want with your money.

Perhaps maybe we should be helping fund new artists, new creators, new sciences. We should be helping build wells in third world countries so the people there can drink potable water. We should be sending money to war-torn countries where children have no parents.

But I digress.  

Epiphany and Nerdy Actors

I had a dream this morning about an actor. Granted, I am too much of a realist, even in my dreams, for the actor to be some big name heartthrob. Instead, a nerdy-cute actor was trying to get in my pants in a dream.

 I woke up but was halfway between awake and asleep, my brain thinking about how I would attract an actor, even a “lower-level” (so to speak) actor. My brain was processing how a famous person would ever be interested in me, also granted that I was a different incarnation of me, younger, unmarried, etc. This is the list you probably tell yourself if you were to seriously think of the ideal you. Mine was I would need to be thinner and more in shape. I would have to have a career path and be executing that career in a professional manner. I would have to be assured of myself and my values. 

When we dream about that ideal partner before we find them, it’s often someone accomplished, attractive, assured.

My brain was formulating how I would have to improve myself to attract the affection of this person from my dream. I woke up, and lay there in a brief moment of alone time (as a mom this is VERY rare). And then BAM. Epiphany.

First off: I shouldn’t be changing myself to be with a celebrity (obviously, and VERY VERY doubtful I would ever meet a celebrity let alone attract one, and also the very real fact that I’m married). Second off: If I believe these changes would make me that more appealing to a celebrity, how much more so would they endear me to my husband?? Wouldn’t he want me to be more physically fit, motivated, secure? Who wouldn’t want that? And third off: screw the men! I should do this because it makes me a more complete person to myself.

Maybe this is a dumb epiphany to you, but damn if it didn’t hit home for me. I try not to be one to fantasize about a life I could have lived given other circumstances; it takes away from the life I’m currently living. However, I am definitely one to sit around and lament all the things I’m not, and this kicked me right in the butt. It was like Future Me sent back a little message- hurry up and start being the person you want to be.