Friday, March 7, 2014

Giving it all Up

I’ve decided that it’s time to make my life more difficult.
This new stay-at-home mom thing is way too easy (not).
So I’ve decided to up the ante.

I’m going to start our family on a hypoallergenic diet! Doesn’t that sound fun?!

Yeah I’m not sold either.
Backstory- I’m one of those sick sadistic people that truly enjoys giving up stuff for Lent. Not because it’s fun, mind you. Because I like to prove that my dick is bigger than my friends, and I can give up something completely ridiculous for 40 days while they struggle with caffeine (hahaha how cute, caffeine) or the like. I gave up cheese one year. All 40 days. If you don’t know me, you don’t realize how HUGE that is. I live and breathe cheese. It was a rough 40 days and I might have blocked out the last few weeks.
Deciding to make this huge diet change is going to be super rough. But the last few months my eldest has developed a recurring rash inside his elbow pits. It’s red and pimply and he says it hurts. My youngest, the hardier of the stock, has over the past few weeks, developed super dry skin on the back of his arms, front of his thighs, and has a red pimply rash on his shoulders, and red scaly dry face. Then a few days ago he started getting the elbow pit rash. My husband is convinced it’s from dryer sheets, but I think it’s diet related. Mostly because I worked at a natural food store and drank too much of that koolaid.
Anyway, starting sometime very soon, we are giving up dairy, wheat and gluten products, eggs, and a bevy of other possibly allergens. This phase goes on for up to 6 weeks I believe, but since we aren’t crazy reactive to foods I’m assuming maybe 3 weeks? And then we slowly introduce foods back in to see where the allergies are, if any. A friend of mine was talking about all the side effects she suffered from her gluten intolerance, and I’m hoping my husband has those issues, so when he’s gluten free he stops being a turd.
So you may not want to visit me anytime in the next two months. We will probably be weeping into our bland sad food.

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