Wednesday, April 2, 2014
They would tell me, in a hushed voice, how they would wave to my oldest son when he peeked out of the blind during nap time. They knew he was supposed to be asleep, but he got such a thrill out of peeking and waving at the neighbors- "friends" he called them.
Then in November, our Neighbor Grandpa went to the hospital with bad back pain. Not only did he have a crack or some such horrible thing happen to his vertebrae, they found lung cancer. He underwent radiation and chemo, and they found it had spread to his bones. After several rounds of treatment, he passed away yesterday. I knew something was amiss, as the street was literally lined with cars for the few days leading up and preceding it. Neighbor Grandma called to let us know what had happened. What can you even say? I tried to remember what had helped when my mother-in-law passed. Just sorry, praying for you, here for anything you need. How do you go about life as normal when someone you have shared it with for the past 50+ years is gone? I can't even fathom.
Both boys are down with colds, coughs, one small fever. It makes me feel like an ass for the anxiety I feel over illnesses. I would take a cold, a fever, even throwing up over cancer. Any day.
I'm so sick of cancer that I could just scream.
I understand, sin nature, evil in the world, yada yada.
Right now I'm just trying to focus on how to say goodbye, to those just lost, to those lost long ago.
And I can't even...